I resolve to...

happy new year

And that's a definite maybe

To borrow the now infamous words of George W Bush, 2005 was "a heck of a year." The tsunami that ended 2004 seemed to set the tone for a succession of 2005 disasters natural and political. But the silver lining of the cloud that enveloped 2005 is starting to emerge: The scales have begun to fall from people's eyes and they now see George W Bush for what he is, an incompetent megalomaniac with delusions of grandure and omnipotence. The stench of corruption in government became so strong that it could no longer be ignored, and Tom DeLay is under indictment, as are Jack Abramoff and his co-scumbags; with luck they will take a lot of politicians down with them. The wheels of justice are turning, if ever so slowly, and Kenny Boy Lay will come to trial this month. There is hope that our country may regain its bearings.

In that spirit of optimism, I offer a short list of resolutions.

In 2006 I vow to:

Finally finish the Christmas "Holiday" letter begun in 2002, covering the years 2001, 2000, 1999, 1998, 1997, 1996, 1995, 1994,1993,1992,
It's gotten so bad that this year Maker's Mark (I'm an "ambassador") sent me a box of cards and return-address labels, hoping to prod me into action one presumes. I will, of course, have to update the mailing list to exclude those who have in the meantime died or gone into the witness protection program.
Lose the 35 extra pounds (15.87573 Kg) that encumber my frame and imperil my health.
With any luck, all the pants that I stored away back in 1984 "for when I can get back into them" will not have disintegrated or be too, too out of style.
Clip recipes from the decades of Sunset magazines that I have kept and schlept from house to house for that express purpose.
In consideration of the previous resolution, I will focus on low-fat, low-carb, low-calorie, heart-healthy, tasty recipes. That should reduce the enormity of the task to manageable proportions. Or maybe I'll just cart the boxes directly to the curb.
Replace all the smoke-detector batteries when we "spring ahead" this year.
I'll try to let neither the "leap second" they will add at the end of this year nor the change of date for springing ahead and falling back interfere with this vital safety precaution.
Give George W the benefit of the doubt at least once.
Nah. There's no point being that unrealistic.

And that's definite. Maybe.